Writing contest

Yesterday I saw that there's a writing contest!  Fun!  It's at our local used book store, Pop's.  First prize is a $100 savings bond, second and third prizes are gift cards for their store.  Very neat.

This inspired me to make one of my goals to enter a writing contest.  Not win, but enter.  The deadline is a few months away and it's a 2000 word maximum.  I don't have a story deep inside of me just waiting to get out.  I really don't have an artist's soul.  I do, however, love visiting my creative side and seeing what fruits come of my labor.  I like the thought of creating something fun, submitting it and just seeing what will happen.

Currently, I'm having a cranky morning.  I'm taking a meal to a friend with a new baby today.  Yesterday was MDO in which I had to do grocery and the dentist.  Grocery was fine, but the dentist just isn't a good time.  He told me that at the next visit I'll probably have a cavity between my teeth that we'll need to fix.  Awesome.

After MDO I took the boys to the library in which 2 of the 3 of them behaved badly.  Not horribly, but enough to get the stink eye from the librarian.

Once at home, I worked like a dog to prepare the lasagne for my friend and another batch for my family.  At dinner, I realized it wasn't good.  Trying to be frugal, I had used a pound of sausage from the store and a pound of deer sausage from the freezer.  I always forget that the deer sausage has an odd twang to it that just makes things taste weird.

The good thing is that my boys ate it hand over fist.  It just bugged me and Aaron.  However, I'm frustrated because I'm out all that time and energy and I don't want to take the lasagne to my friend.

I'm also frustrated because 2 of my 3 wet the bed.  More laundry.  And last night I went to swat a very deserving behind and caught my pinkie on the bathroom counter.  Yowsers!  I don't recommend doing that.  I will say that said child felt way worse for my hand than the swat would have made his bottom feel.  But my hand still hurts.

So here I am, whiny and reminding myself to get it together.  3 little people will be watching me all day so I need to show them grace and love.  And MOPs has our open house today so I need to be loving and welcoming to those ladies, too.

So, I decided to take a moment to dream about my short story.

Here are a few ideas...

A take on Jesus' parable about the lost sheep.
A telling of my favorite Grandma story--the time she had a snake fall around her neck from a tree and she slung it across the yard.

And that's all I've got.  Fun thinking of it, though.  I've decided to pop in Target to get what I need to make a chicken spaghetti for my friend.  Easy, quick and I already had the shredded chicken frozen and it's thawing as I write this.  Laundry is whirring away.  It's funny--today I'm wearing a great shirt I bought from another MOPs group at convention that says:  Be calm and mommy on.  Very appropriate for me today.  Even when my emotions are all over the chart, I still have to mommy on.  No one else can be the mommy to my boys.  Deep breath.  It's going to be a good day.  I've decreed it, dadgummit!

A few more to add

I can hear my youngest stirring from his nap, so this post will be quite brief--just adding a few more on my list:

Go on a mission trip where I can use my Spanish to share God's love
Take the boys on a trip with my parents to see where my Dad's family is from (Arkansas, not England.  I'm not up for an international flight with little ones).
Warmly greet all visitors to our Sunday School class at church
Organize the upstairs room that's currently a wreck
Crochet a blanket
Scrapbook as an act of joy and leaving a legacy
Enjoy nature during long, leisurely walks
Learn to waterski

Wish I could go do that now, but the little guy is calling.

The list begins

And so we begin with 50 goals for the next 50 years:

(This list is in random order.  Just writing them down as they come to me).

Kiss Aaron under the Eiffel Tower.
Inspire others through writing a public blog.
Go to Canton with Traci.
Organize the toy closet.
Play tennis.
Organize my closet.
Find a love seat for my bedroom.
Have a picnic table on the back porch.
Write with beautiful handwriting.
Share the talking of dinnertime conversation more.
Swim in the ocean with my boys.
Connect with other moms through a Christian book club.
Enjoy my sons' birthday parties.
Honor Christ at Christmas.

The me project

I was at MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) national convention and saw a new book by a favorite author of mine, Kathi Lipp.  In the picture above, she's on the left and I'm on the right.  She's writes regularly for our MOPs magazine and I had read her previous book, The Husband Project.

In The Husband Project, she gives a 21-day plan of daily projects that help a wife do something special daily to love her husband.  I was intentional about it and did the best I could with a baby and twin toddlers.  The neat thing about it was that Aaron didn't change, but my attitude did.  It should have been called The Wife Project because after 21 days of focusing on being a better wife, I became one.

I now have The Me Project.  I didn't ponder very long before I purchased it.  Once I got it home, I faltered a little bit.  I had assumed it was doing 21 fantastic things for myself to remind me of what a wonderful creature God made me.  I had anticipated pedicures, taste-testing lots of flavors of jelly beans to find my special favorite, etc.  Not so much.  Instead, it's about making real goals and pursuing them.

The premise is that God has more for us than being moms, wives, volunteers, and all the other hats we wear.  Deep inside each of us lies a dream of living fully in Him and chasing after and achieving that dream with reckless abandon.

She challenges the reader to get a journal and write a 50/50 list--a list of 50 goals you want to accomplish in the next 50 years.  After that's done, you choose one of those goals and follow the a 21-day plan to achieve it.

Hmmm.  I have 3 boys under 5 years old.  The thought of coming up with 50 goals is pretty daunting.  I have to be honest here--my big hesitation with the project is a fear of failure.  I think of myself as a pretty courageous person, but I married a man who is rock solid.  He knows what he likes, doesn't like and he's very good at taking time to relax and just be.

I, on the other hand, run around like a chicken with my head cut off and find resting and relaxing very difficult.  I have hobbies, but they don't recharge me the way I think they should.  I know I have peace in Christ, but somehow feeling that peace eludes me.  Instead I feel unsettled, fretful or worried.  I'm like a pot of water that's always simmering, just waiting to boil.  I want to be like Aaron--a pond that's completely still.

That's somewhat tangential, but at the root, I know I chase after lots of bunnies that really shouldn't be chased.  I'm learning to say no and focus more on what God is calling me to in this season, but it's tricky.  I want to be the very best Laura I can be and it's just hard to know who she is.  In seeking my identity, I have this fear that I'll fad away and become a shorter, more petite version of Aaron.

He loves the outdoors--hunting, fishing, building things and being dirty.  Very similar to our sons.  God cut me from a different cloth.  I want to like fishing, but putting a grasshopper on a hook is icky.  The fish out of water flopping around is gross.  Guns are loud and the scary.

As the mom of boys, I've had to get over a lot of my prissiness, but at my core, I don't want to become a huntress who can live successfully off the land.  I want to be beautiful, enjoy wonderful food, the laughter of friends, and be clean while doing it. 

I shared these concerns with Aaron.  He was wonderfully understanding and supportive.  Sometimes I feel like by staying home, my mind has just melted away and the qualities that made me so unique when he met me--being able to speak Spanish fluently, loving Jane Austen and her novels, being able to compare any story to Don Quixote and talking about it at length, singing too loud while I play the piano even louder just because--just melted away with the craziness of raising my boys. 

But it's time to take charge again of me.  Christ came so that I could have life more abundantly, not for me to cower in a corner. 

I'm going to make a 50/50 list, chose one goal and follow the 21-day plan.  I've decided to use this blog as a way to chronicle my journey.  I won't blog every day or share all the details, but I'll hit the high points as I go.

I love comments on blogs.  Feel free to share your thoughts.